Flying Blind....

Before I go into this new post of mine...I would just like to point out that I love all women. I've dated all types of women and truly believe that beauty is what you make it.  Blah Blah Blah...ok..enough of that touchy shit...

So as a guy, growing up...all I did was think about women. And over time, we all figure out what kind of person we want for ourselves. As we grow up, we surround ourselves with friends and try to hook each other up with someone. To play that wingman or winggal or whatever you girls call it.

Some of my close friends know the kind of girls I like. They learn through being around me and asking me. BUT THEN....I have people around me that ASSUME what kind of girl they should hook me up with.

Let me paint the picture really quick:


My friend and I are driving around the city because we are bored as hell. We are talking about life, sports and cracking jokes. We stop by a bar to chill for happy hour and just enjoy ourselves. Two women walk in. Both on the thicker side.


Friend: "Hey Playa, Check those honeys out. That's all you playa. Go handle that" (Note, he isn't joking around)
Me: (in my mind) (THIS MOTHERFUCKER) 


This D-BAG !!! My boy honestly thinks I should holla at every big girl that walks through the door. Obviously this is his first time wingmanning me up so I'm letting him slide on this. Hey, I would talk to any girl for whatever reason...just don't assume all I want are fat chicks. My boy is somewhat a nerd, but I'm not going to assume all he wants to talk to his some nerdy chick. I'm pretty sure he would like to talk to a slim big titty chick once and a while.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't really a pet peeve of mine or anything. But this is just more of a heads up.  Remember, I love all chicks. I will talk to any chick you put in front of me...okay, maybe not ANY chick...but you know what I mean.

I'm pretty sure this goes for women also. 


So, people....Don't assume that your big friend wants to hook up with another big person ALL THE TIME. And just doesn't go for you big friends. This goes for your pack, your bros and sistas, know what they want before you start just throwing them to random motherfuckers.

But to us big folks, it will happen once and a while, whether we like it or not....

Learn about your wingman or your partner in crime....or else...

FML !!!!

Softening the blow....

With my blogs, I usually target friends and families of Fat dudes and chicks. But this one is gonna be for all my big brothas and sistas out there.

Let me paint a picture for you to start it off:

At a Mcdonalds Drive thru....


DT (Drive Thru): "Welcome to Mcdonalds, can I take your order?"
Fat dude/chick: "Yes, can I order a Large number 1, 2 Mcdoubles, a McChicken and a Parfait. "
DT: "And what would you like to drink?"
Fat dude/chick: "Can I just get a diet coke.."


Brothas....sistas.....I know we have all done this in the past and I know the reason why. Mentally, we think we are softening the blow to that large ass order we just made. In our heads, we are saying "This diet coke will make up for all the other shit i just ordered"


WELL...It doesn't and you know it. 


Diet coke ain't gonna change shit. I mean, COME ON...you already ordered all that shit, you might as well go all out and order your ass a regular coke or what not. Unless you like the taste of diet coke then feel free, other than that...you are just kidding yourself and not fully satisfying yourself.

But why do we do it???


Well, we do it because it helps us accept what we have ordered and gets rid of that certain guilt afterwards.

So if you are going to pull some shit like this, don't pretend you don't know what you are doing. If you want a healthy drink...just drink water. And if you don't trust water from other places than from a bottle or your house....then you are shit out of luck. Order that soda and just say fuck it.

FML...

Introducing...

YO!!!!

My bad fellow viewers. I forgot to introduce myself. I didn't want you guys to think..."Who the hell is this dude?"..."What does he know?"..."What makes him interesting?"

First of all, My name is Mark Mendoza aka Sharky aka Big Sexy.

I've been a big dude since....hmmm...probably the 4th grade. It never really bothered me till I hit middle school. That's when all the jokes started rolling in. From the obvious "fat boy" to "Wideload" and what not. Yeah, it got to me at first but that's just middle school life. People made jokes to everyone for no reason. To survive, you had to learn how to make jokes back. (Well...that's a whole different story..back to me).

Anyways, through high school, it didn't really get to me because I was active with sports and whatever. I still got the jokes but like i said, that just comes with the territory of being in school. So it kind of went away for a while. And I would have to say that the people I went to school with didn't really get on one another.  FAST FORWARD.... So it hit me again the day after prom when a bunch of my friends all decided to hit up Great America back when it was still sick and had Top Gun and all the cool shit. I tried getting on one ride and I was too big to fit the seat belt. (Yeah, that was a bitch). That was a reality check for me.

But yeah...from then forth...blah blah blah...

So to get to the fucking point.....I'M LIVING THE FAT MANS LIFE.  


And that's why you should read my blogs....because I know what the fuck I'm talking about.

                                                     HAVE A GREAT DAY !!! =)

Seriously???...

Hello again my fellow viewers...

For my next post, I was really thinking about what to write about. I have so much I can say, just didn't know which one to choose.

UNTIL A RECENT EVENT LAST NIGHT...


So last night, I was on the phone with a friend of mine. I'm not going to name names this time around but she know who she is when she reads this. My friend is a very active person. She runs 5 days a week, goes to the gym 5 days a week and she keeps a healthy diet. And I'm just gonna throw this out there...She is very easy on the eyes. Anyways... So last night, she ranted on that she gain 2 pounds and from her tone of voice and choice of words...she sounded like it was the end of the world. She was calling herself fat and ugly and BLAH BLAH BLAH !!!


WTF !!!! Really??? 


You gained 2 pounds and you call yourself fat? SHHHHIIIITTTTTT!!!!!!

So for us big folks, we just roll our eyes. We wish we had your fucking problem. Shit. I wish I was a skinny motherfucker with the problem of gaining 2 pounds. 2 FUCKING POUNDS !!!


I'm doing all this cussing because its annoying and its a serious matter. We don't want to hear that shit. We have no problem you complaining to your skinny friends but to us...you know...the big guys/gals....we just think its stupid as fuck.

So for future references to all my skinny/fit buddies....don't ever complain you are getting fat to us big folks. Go to your skinny friends about that shit.

EVEN JACKIE CHAN KNOWS WHATS UP....

FML...

The Case of the X's...

The Case of the X's....and no, I don't mean past relationships. I'm gonna be talking about an area that not just big people think about but everyone. 

So big guys range from many sizes....from the 2xl to the 6xl and beyond. (OH YES...there is a Beyond and we call it Aloha Shirts). Once you reach the point where all you can buy is Aloha Shirts...that is pretty much a wrap. You never...NEVER EVER EVER...want to reach the point of Aloha Shirts.

The bigger you get, the harder it is to shop. Most big guys want to have loose clothing and nothing tight, but there are pros and cons on having tight clothes and loose clothes.

                         Tight Clothes: Pros - You probably will look skinnier than you really are. It also depends on the color you are wearing.
                        Cons - Depending on how big you are and how your body is made...your side fat will definitely show and probably your man boobs. And if you are unlucky enough to have "Back Titties"...that will probably show as well. And God knows nobody wants to see no "Back Titties". And tight clothes on big folks usually feels uncomfortable.

                         Loose Clothes: Pros - You will feel comfortable and probably don't have to think about pulling the front of your shirt away from your body to make sure your titties ain't showing.

                        (Next time you hang out with your big friend, see if he constantly pulls his shirt forward. This is because he feels like either his belly is showing or his titties are showing....oh and please don't let him know you are watching...)

                        Cons - You will probably look bigger than you really are. Especially wearing a big white shirt...you will definitely look bigger than you are.

Every big guy knows all this and thinks about this on the daily. Big guys don't have a bigger closest because we don't have that many clothes.

This is just the beginning and please feel free to follow if you have google+ or on the left hand side of the page, you can enter your email and you will be updated. Hope you guys enjoyed.

FML

                                                                                 

Warning !!!

Hey everyone...

Just one to put this out there...

In no way am I or will be encouraging to live a Fat Mans Life. Most goals for every big person is to be fit again. Not having great health is a serious issue and no way would I want that for anyone.

This blog site is just for laughs, information, and just a peek through the life of a big man.

So don't get it twisted. Read the blogs and take what you will from it.

Enjoy....FML !!!